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Коллекция 1

Nice Question!

- What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

- Any dog, buildings don't jump!

Car accident

 There’s a guy from Ireland driving through Europe and an English guy driving in the opposite direction. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head-on1 and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Irish fella2 manages to climb out of his car and survey the damages. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Jesus, I am really lucky to be alive!” Likewise, the Englishman scrambles3 out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, “I can’t believe I survived this wreck!” The Englishman walks over to the Irishman and says, “Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences4 and live as friends instead of such enemies.” The Irishman thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I’m gonna see what else survived the wreck.” So, the Irishman opens his boot5 and finds a full unopened bottle of Irish Whiskey. He says to the English fella, “I think this is another sign from God that we toast to our new-found6 understanding and friendship”. The Englishman says, “You’re damn right!” and he grabs the bottle and starts drinking the Irish Whiskey. After putting away7 nearly half the bottle, the Englishman hands it back to the Irish fella and says, “Your turn!” The Irish fella twists the cap back8 on the bottle and says, “No, I think I’ll wait for the police to show up”.

1 to hit head-on – столкнуться лоб в лоб

2 fella разг. = fellow — друг

3 to scramble – протискиваться

4 petty differences – мелкие различия

5 boot – багажник

6 new-found — вновь обретенный

7 to put away – опустошать

8 to twist a cap back – закрутить пробку

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