Mum taught me to …
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me RELIGION – “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me IRONY – “Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about WEATHER – “It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS – “If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION – “Stop acting like your father!”
My mother taught me about ENVY – “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.”