Teacher: (pointing at the window) What is it?
Little pupil: I don't want to tell.
Teacher: But you must!
Little pupil: I don't come to school to teach you. It is you who must teach me.
What I did in Texas!
A cowboy is traveling on his horse when he sees a bar. He decides to stop for a few drinks, so he ties his horse outside the bar, walks into the bar, sits right up at the counter and orders a few beers. This cowboy is new in town, so he notices some of the other bar patrons1 giving him funny looks2, and he suspects that they'll try something funny, but he continues to drink. When he's satisfied, he pays for the beers and walks out of the bar only to find his horse missing3.
However, he keeps his cool4, struts5 back into the bar, puts on a really mean look6 and says, "Look, I don't know what you did to my horse out there... but I'm planning to make a move on within the next five minutes, and if my horse isn't back where it's supposed to be by then7, well... I'm gonna have to do here what I did in Texas!" The cowboy sneers8. "And I don't wanna do what I did in Texas!"
The cowboy glares at everyone before returning to the counter and ordering another couple of beers. The other customers9 seem a bit shaken, and sure enough after 5 minutes, the cowboy walks out and finds his horse tied where it was supposed to be.
Just as he's about to leave, the barman approaches him and asks, "I'm just curious, partner. What was it you did in Texas that you didn't want to do here?" The cowboy turns to the barman, gives a lopsided grin10 and replies, "I had to walk home!11"
1 bar patron - клиент, завсегдатай бара
2 to give smb. funny looks - странно поглядывать в чью-либо сторону
3 walks out... to find his horse missing - выйдя, обнаружил, что его лошади нет на месте
4 to keep one's cool - сохранять спокойствие
5 to strut - важно вышагивать
6 to put on a mean look - делать важный вид
7by then - к тому времени
8 to sneer - презрительно улыбаться
9 customer - посетитель, клиент
10 to give a lopsided grin - криво усмехаться
11 I had to walk home! - Мне пришлось идти пешком!