History is too long now!
Grandfather: What mark1 do you have in History?
Jimmy: A four.
Grandfather: Oh, what a shame2! When I was a pupil, I had a five.
Jimmy: But the history was much shorter then!
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of3 him one day by driving him 20 blocks4 from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home the cat was walking up the driveway5.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast6 out and headed home7.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home8. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached where he thought was a safe distance9 from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife, "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated10, the man answered, "Put that rascal11 on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
1 mark - оценка
2 shame - стыд
3 to get rid of smb. - избавляться от кого-либо
4 block - квартал
5 driveway - дорога
6 beast - животное, зверь
7 to head home - направиться домой
8 would always beаt him home - всегда оказывался дома раньше него
9 safe distance - безопасное расстояние
10 frustrated - расстроенный, разочарованный
11 rascal - подлец