Where is milk?
Teacher: Jack, can you tell me what five things contain milk in them?
Jack: Of course! This is butter, cheese and three cows.
For fifty pence
An Irishman, upon finishing his business in the toilet, was pulling up his pants when a 50 pence piece slipped from his pocket1, bounced once on the lid2, and fell into the hole. Peering3 into the hole, the Irishman told to himself, "For 50 pence? No." Upon which, he took another 50 pence piece from his pocket, let it fall into the hole to join4 the first, and added, "But for a pound..."
1 50 pence piece slipped from his pocket - пятидесятицентовая монета выпала из его кармана
2 bounced once on a lid - подпрыгнула на крышке
3 to peer - заглядывать, всматриваться
4 to join - присоединиться