Late for school
Teacher: Why are you late, Jimmy?
Jim: It was late when I started from home.
Teacher: So why didn't you start earlier?
Jim: It was too late to start early, madam.
Irishman at a car-wash
- How do you spot an Irishman at a car-wash?
-He's the one on the bike.
- Where do you find an Irish woodworm?
- Dead inside a brick.
Confuse an Irishman
- How do you confuse an Irishman?
- Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
- What do you do if an Irishman throws a grenade at you?
- Pull the pin out and throw it back.